coincidentally

so i told myself that over the course of this trip, i'd blog weekly and update on how life is going, what sights i've seen, etc, etc. and just philosophical musings - i lied. well, the first week i had no internet access, the second week i coulda, and well, this is the third week.

its not that there hasn't been a lack of things to write about, but i think it's just a recognition that this blog in many ways is a repository of thoughts for me, and thoughts/feelings that need to get out - and while daytripping through japan gives you this huge peek into culture, its not hm. writing about most of it wouldn't be personal - it'd just be an exercise in expository writing, because somehow i don't feel that connected to that part of said trip - okay, no, i do, but it's like i feel if i wrote about that, i'd be doing that out of boredom and an inherent need to express it for other people - hm, no, thats not it - ah, i lost my train of thought again. will write again later. i do want to blog about japan and taiwan at some point, it's just that at this moment, you feel it when you're at that brink of a realization, and that you want it to come and not screw up the process - perhaps, to make an analogy : you'd like not to disturb the water, so the little fish you're luring can see the bait and take it faster.

okay transcribing what i wrote on the back of a piece of paper yesterday - "...i'm writing - what's the point in buying delicious pens if you don't have the opportunity to use them? don't ask me. well, maybe if i fill this sheet up with endless blather about nothing - when you think about it, actually isn't too hard. you just start writing and put your pen to the paper and the words start to flow - if you're in the mood for it, albeit you don't exactly place much importance on how eloquent the words will be. it's a bad habit i realize i have - whenever i'm sitting at the computer with nothing to do, i just start writing on any random scrap of paper nearby. writing or at least practicing handwriting and watching ink flow is an easy way to alleviate boredom - or at least pass time, slowly, perhaps aimlessly. but then again, aren't most past times aimless until someone decides to ascribe meaning to them? one never knows - and that, good sir, is a philosophical question you could choose to ponder for the rest of your life, as it goes back to the root of what is the meaning of life? i don't think 42 serves as a capable answer, this time. and if i ponder it - would i become disgusted at myself for just not doing anything? perhaps - but i think, quoting ptolemy solon (after reading kushiel's mercy for the umpteenth time) - that happiness is indeed the highest form of wisdom, so perhaps i'm content in being aimless, for now. besides, when you're aimless and carefree, you can't really be stressed. so onwards, random babble! your thoughts shan't be overheard, and your handwriting improved! why stop?! for lack of sleep, darling, lack of sleep. you do realize, good madam, that its 1:27 AM? ..so while i search for the key to unlocking an inner eloquence that's bursting delicately at its seams through writing, i'll hurry that attempt by writing this expose out on paper, where i have to think more, rather than just the fast typing which is almost as easy as speech. ah, little fishie, where are you. i think eloquence comes with maturity, as perhaps its the shedding of the me-centric ideal that people have to pay attention to your words, that ironically allows your words to be more accessible by others. "

notes to self:
a. you write differently when you're babbling to yourself on paper. perhaps because you're not afraid others will read it and perceive it...maybe, or maybe its just because you're slowing down to think and write, rather than just type
b. blogging/writing is helpful for clearing the mind
c. after the no-sleep-induced haze of last night and not sleeping until 6am this morning and waking up at noon, that fuzzy-dimly-bright-halo-of-luminescent-knowledge seems to have receded and been ate by a coffee-flavored polar bear. a fat one with too much blubber and a nice furry coat...and a coca-cola bottle in one hand with shorts. i want air conditioning, and a nice cup of coffee. maybe just a frapp would do, considering its too hot for ...actual hot stuff
d. HOT STUFF LOLS - people need to stop being like LOL YOU HAFF HOTGUI(SE) YET - ...i didn't come to taiwan to pick up sketchy guys. even if the asian boys here are infinitesimally better than the ones over in america. but then again, when you consider that maryland and etc only has about 10-30% asian-ity, you've already knocked out 70%-90% of the possible hawtness, leaving the residual OH MY GOD ARE YOU FOR REAL START SHOWERING AND STOP STUDYING population. but, flings are badbadbad. no AIDS or syphilis plz, or emotional train wrecks. those are bad too.
e. i'll work on the illogically logical algorithms another day.