There's nothing like insomnia (or trying to fix your sleep schedule by steadily moving the time you sleep backwards) to teach you what the meaning of being alone is. There's no one to talk to on the phone, no one to IM, no one to talk to - no audible movement in the house, other than the humming of the heat and refrigerator, or perhaps the rustling of newspapers when my grandfather prepares to go to sleep. The birds are quiet until dawn, and perhaps around now, the newspaper man will come to throw a newspaper in the general direction of our driveway (and probably hit, but considering that sleet's starting to tap at our ceiling, today might not be one of his lucky days)

It's an unsettling feeling, not being able to talk to anyone and not be able to do anything other than solitary things, and having to walk around quietly. Eating is such a weird thing, when you eat your breakfast at 7PM, perhaps a few freshly-baked cookies around 12-1AM - should I eat my lunch now, nearly 12 hours after I woke up? Maybe that's why I'm so tired, but I still have 6 hours to go until 12pm, which..shouldn't be too hard, until perhaps 10am or so, just boring. And then, I'll sleep until 11pm, and then the cycle will keep on going. Tomorrow will be me trying to stay up until 5PM, and then sleeping "early" in comparison to most people, and then waking up around say, 3/4am, and by Thursday, I'll be sleeping around 8/9 and waking up at 7/8am. That's the plan, I think - it might take longer than that, but who knows.

I just hate feeling alone, but I've learned to deal with it. It's just...weird to be alone, because college and the relatives have made it so that I'm used to not being alone, for a while. There's always someone around at 4am, be it an RA, another person frantically trying to finish a paper, or the comforting sound of your roommate snoring or turning in bed. Home...it's peaceful, and seeing daylight filter the curtains white is a nice experience. But, insomnia still sucks like none other.