Sometimes I'm afraid everything'll go to shit, and it'll just be a repeat of everything that's happened before. And I know it's just that, but all that miserable feeling hasn't gone away or even fixed yet, and now minor things just add to it even though they shouldn't, which makes my insecurities eat me alive. Maybe I should have waited, but then I would probably have waited years, because I know me well enough to know that waiting would never have fixed anything for me, the fix for all of that would be the opposite of what had caused it. But maybe that's something I have to learn to fix on my own? And fix the insecure? I dunno, maybe I ask too much out of other people, too, and maybe other people were right on that about me. Either way, it's a weird feeling, feeling both happier than you ever have been before and then feeling lonelier than you ever have been too not too long after.

"When you are young, you think it's going to be solved by love. But it never is. Being close -- as close as you can get -- to another person only makes clear that impassable distance between you."
"If being in love only made people more lonely, why would everyone want it so much?'
"Because of the illusion. You fall in love, it's intoxicating, and for a little while you feel like you've actually become one with the other person. Merged souls and so on. You think you'll never be lonely again."