one year to catch up, one year to surpass, one year to solidify? doable...

i do it for that feeling of joy and daaayum, it didn't make sense before but i got it. although i suppose that is my motivation for almost everything.

and i dunno, maybe it's also - why do anything unless you're not working to make yourself good at it or better at it each day? it can't just be one thing - its working on school, being a better person, wushu, dance, cooking, the whole shebang. too many people focus on just one thing and leave out others....and every single day i think you should try to sleep with a kinder heart than you did the night before, worked a little more toward achieving each of your goals..and i don't know, i'm rambling again. 

haha, if i actually achieve what i want......it will have been eleven years (or ten and a half) to have gotten to what i thought i could do and purge off so many bad habits in so many different ways. how much can you change in eight years? a lot. how little can you change in eight years if you choose to also? also very little. and  man i've gone in so many random tangents and paths in the past 4 years

and it's taken until now for me to kind of slowly settle down and have less 雜音fuzzing up my brain...and we'll see how far it goes this time. i think tho...more and more, this is how it will be. a lot of hard work.

開始開花...?