The silken feel of skin - can I even remember what it feels like to want it without flinching away from people's nearness?

I read the accounts, read all of the anything but a yes is a no - and in it, I wonder how much of myself I see - convincing myself that everything I'd do when I was drunk is something I'd do sober, that just because I watched a movie in bed with someone else I was ready for everything that happened after that - the last one hurt, you see - people who just take are a special subset of hurt that I need to stay away from.

I miss wanting that feel, but how can you miss the memory of wanting something, rather than the something itself?