correction: life sucks monkey balls.

a. my printer jammed.
b. while finding instructions to unjam my printer online, my computer flashes the blue screen of d3th "PHYSICAL MEMORY OVERLOAD SYSTEM REBOOTING"
c. it then refuses to boot and says hard drive unable to boot insert system disk
d. every single system disk and floppy doesnt fucking work
e. does it look like i backup my files?
f. i spent friday night working until 3 am on my freakin thing for congressional + making the frame.
g. i had to wake up at 9:30 am saturday to turn it in.
h. i spent the same amount of time sleeping saturday night because i was triyng to fix the fsakfpowekrpoka computer
i. i whine too much goodnight

translation:
There came a strange rattling sound from the metal shell (bedecked with buttons, and randomly assorted cd and floppy drives) of what had once been a mighty technological marvel. Now it was barely functioning, a result of years of dust, a genuine cantankerous nature, and well, its' simple lack of functionality. "Alohamama!" Harry said, quite pleased with himself, and then realized his incantation was dead wrong. He pointed his wand around wildly, and yelled, "NO! NO! I MEAN ALOHOMORA!" The shell burped. Harry flinched. With a bright blue grin of happiness across it's face, the computer tapped out, "USER ERROR. SHUTTING DOWN," and exploded, along with the fanfiction universe. Adios, bad Harry Potter fanfics! Adios, Mary Sue! Adios-you-piece-of-crap! From the background, the telly, set to Chinese cable, looked on in amusement and crackled comfortingly. A little boy, waving a blue flag, danced across the stage on the television screen. A computer promptly fell on him too. The television sighed, and changed channels to Ugly Betty, muttering, "Computers these days, so heartless."